How to Regain Your Self-Respect and Why It Matters

 Self-respect is knowing you are worthy and treating yourself accordingly.

Respecting yourself is the first step toward understanding you deserve love, consideration, and opportunities like everyone else.

“Our level of self-respect acts almost like a blueprint to instruct others how to engage with us,” says Jaime Zuckerman, a licensed clinical psychologist in Philadelphia. “When we develop healthy reciprocal relationships, we find ourselves surrounded by those who respect us, support us, and treat us how we want to be treated.”

What is self-respect?

Self-respect is loving yourself and treating yourself with care. It’s the result of staying true to your values and not being willing to compromise.

The more you engage in behaviors consistent with your beliefs and values, the more you’ll feel fulfilled and confident. This, in turn, will improve your sense of well-being, says Zuckerman.

Respecting yourself also prevents you from comparing yourself and your life with other people. This may be especially important in today’s digital world.

“Self-comparison is rampant on platforms such as Instagram and TikTok,” says Zuckerman. “When we have a low level of self-respect, we tend to engage in more social comparison, which makes us feel worse about ourselves, not good enough, and minimize our achievements.”

At its core, self-respect is a form of self-care.

“When someone has self-respect, they have accepted themselves and believe that they are deserving of belonging in the world,” says Divya Robin, a psychotherapist in New York City. “We are wired to want connection and a sense of belonging, so self-belonging and acceptance is incredibly important for psychological health, too.”

5 Tips to develop and show self-respect

If you feel you need to work on caring more about yourself and showing more self-respect, these tips can help you take the first step.

1. Try to revisit your values

If self-respect means acting according to your values, the first step must be to clarify what your values are.

Values are firm beliefs about what’s important or desirable to you in life.

2. Consider taking inventory of your relationships

You probably don’t live in isolation, even if you don’t have too many people around you.

Self-respect starts with the people you choose to have in your life and heart.

“Surround yourself with people who empower you to accept and embrace your authentic self,” says Robin.

3. Try to focus on activities you enjoy

Self-respect is also about life satisfaction, and that may start by spending time and effort on the things you’re passionate about.

Although this isn’t always possible, try to include a few activities in your routine that make your heart happy.

These activities can be related to your social life, school, or work.

4. Practicing self-care will help

Respecting yourself means taking care of yourself mentally, emotionally, socially, and physically.

5. Identify and nurture your needs

If self-respect is about taking care of yourself, it’s important that you identify what “care” means for you. What are your needs? What would make you feel fulfilled and satisfied?

“Check in with your needs on a daily basis, and instead of shaming yourself for having needs, nurture your needs,” Robin suggests.

It’s natural to feel apprehensive about spending too much time on yourself, especially if your responsibilities include taking care of others. But attending to your needs is essential to your well-being and can even prepare you to take better care of others if that’s a priority for you.