Why You're Not Confident

Some people seem to stride through life with confidence. For most people, however, confidence seems hard to find, but they get along well enough without it. Yet, confidence is still a big deal in self-help literature. Why?

Self-confidence is related to performance: confident people do better in school and at work, and those achievements make them even more confident. It’s a perfect positive feedback loop. Confidence also predicts subjective happiness, which shouldn’t be surprising: it’s easier to be happy if you feel sure about your place in the world. So how can you get in on all that good stuff and be more confident?

There are some surprisingly simple ways to grow your confidence if you know what you’re doing.

What is Confidence Exactly?

Confidence - or self-confidence if you want to be pedantic and psychological about it - is the belief in your own ability to succeed. There are two other concepts that are similar to confidence: self-esteem and self-efficacy.

It’s important to achieve a healthy level of confidence. A lack of self-confidence holds you back and stops you from fulfilling your potential. Overconfidence, however, may cause you to run headfirst into situations you’re not really prepared for. People who are too confident also tend to come across as arrogant and selfish, which is not a good look on anyone.

How to be confident?

Remember, by definition, self-confidence is the belief in your own ability. Start building that self-trust by finding your own voice and interests and developing them. Journaling or letter-writing are great introspective activities that help you clear your mind and make sense of your thoughts. Often, the simple act of having to put your feelings into words can make you see them in a new light.